April 25th: MM

Audio Only


13:01:54 From Jam : Me next
13:01:57 From Jam : please
13:03:34 From Lindsay McKinnon : refilling my water…
13:14:54 From Lindsay McKinnon : @Leslie I can do that with you if you need some accountaibilty
13:19:44 From Lindsay McKinnon : I love it and look forward to you bringing it in some more Leah!
13:21:19 From Jam : This really makes sense to me
13:26:10 From Briana Rose : Briana
13:26:30 From Briana Rose : Welcome Ayo … hoping you got my email!
13:28:13 From Lindsay McKinnon : JAM!!! It’s a ROLLER RINK?!?!?!
13:28:52 From Briana Rose : YAY JAM!
13:29:04 From Lindsay McKinnon : do it. This is HUGE. What a GIFTZ for your Mom!
13:32:39 From Lindsay McKinnon : what’s a house manager?
13:34:16 From Jam : https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/47843174?adults=2&children=0&infants=0&check_in=2021-10-04&check_out=2021-10-07&source_impression_id=p3_1650908046_DNkZkdOlBJnAHF2q
13:37:06 From Lindsay McKinnon : that just feels juicy, Jam. Mmm…
13:42:11 From Ayo Moore : so cool. you are on fire!!!!)
13:47:36 From Jam : Look up on Amazon: Parts Unknown Season 12, Episode 5 on West Texas
13:48:37 From Jam : So well bragged Briana
13:58:27 From Jam : It IS a big deal
13:58:31 From Jam : I see you LEah
14:02:27 From Jam : I said Yes to my mom for so long until I finally needed to break up with obligation which of course breeds resentment….but of course I still DO have obligations to her and I am navigating that and how to put my needs at the top of the list
14:03:29 From Jam : I do have something to say about this for Briana
14:08:09 From Lindsay McKinnon : Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High
14:08:13 From Lindsay McKinnon : great book!
14:08:23 From Jam : Thank you so much Lidnsay
14:08:31 From Jam : Lindsay !
14:11:35 From Briana Rose : Thanks Lindsay and Jam and Leah!
14:19:28 From Jam : Super grateful


Hello, everyone. Wonderful to see you here. Leslie, I saw that you had a question. So in the interest of jumping right in, would you like to discuss your question? If you are available? Hi there. Good afternoon.

Oh, yes. Work on my setup here.

Hello, hello. Hello,

hello. I’m just coming off of Virginia’s class, which is phenomenal. And anyway, so the question is about having an annual schedule. And, you know, putting everything like I’ve, I want to talk about that I want to even try it, possibly. So where do I start?

So you have worked with me in the past, and we had created the calendar of the whole year. Right. And simply doing by the days, that’s like having it written out in terms of Hang on a second, just. So for those, this is the advanced version that I plan to bring into productivity lab, but I haven’t yet because people I haven’t felt that people aren’t necessarily ready for this. Let me just see how much give me one second. For this to load. So it’s just loading? Hold on, let me just take a quick look, if I want to share this on a recorded video. No, I don’t because it has people’s years, I wasn’t okay. But I have, you know, I have everyone’s birthdays, and gears and anniversaries, and all of those things captured like in a list form. So, you know, my friend’s dog died. And this year, I sent her flowers, because I was the one who remembered that her dog died, that was really important to her, you know, so having all of those things, captured the things that I want to be the kind of person who knows that stuff. And then also having things like the planning. So for example, like start, you know, whatever paying quarter leads, or, you know, sending out holiday cards, if that’s something you want to do having the planning work, you know, reverse engineering and having the dates in there. So I have that on a list form, because that’s how I do best. And then I have usually, I don’t, I don’t have that all like on my, on my electronic calendar. But if you want to have everything cross reference, if you wanted to, I find the list is the best because it’s the easiest to to edit, like just having a bulleted list for the entire year. And then the other thing is for the bulleted list, I don’t include I don’t write down all the days I only write down things that I know. Because then it’s just like all these blank spaces I don’t like I don’t feel that but some people some of my clients have wanted to do it, where they’re like, Well, I want to think and see what dates I have open not to help helps me visually. So there’s no one answer to doing it. But I’m sharing what I do. And then yeah, so writing down all the things that I know. And then for me, I can see like if I only have one thing, one entry, but I know that there’s space around it, but for some people, like I said they want to see those bullets so they can like count days or whatever. Then if you’re if you having it transferred. So for example, my assistant puts all things that I want him to put on my calendar, so I don’t have to go in and make all the things. If you’re in a position to delegate that and you’re comfortable. They’ll find that the more that you practice delegating other people doing stuff, the more you start to see where your system needs improving. Because to to effectively delegate you need to really be able to articulate what you want, right? And so that that practice of delegating has helped me understand like, what are the things I want? What don’t I want, how do I want it done, whatever. And then if you have the paper calendar if you’re also like cross referencing, it could get overwhelming. Or you could say, well, what do how do I want to have things so that it’s everywhere I look, I have the same information or say, Well, I don’t need my friend’s dog death anniversary on my paper calendar, I can look, you know, I can scan that on my paper calendar, I just want to have my appointments, or whatever it doesn’t, there’s not one answer to it. So it’s more about identifying how are the different ways that you interact with stuff? What’s the information that you want to have? And how do you want to be, you know, accessing that information?

Thank you. Um, when you say a bulleted list, do you mean a list that has the month and then in the month, like similar to what you’ve created on my grant to do?

Correct? That’s what I have. Yeah, you have it for the whole year as well. You have that?

Yeah. And it’s very, very helpful, especially for property taxes and income tax. quarterlies. Okay, something that I remember you saying once was the idea of having. Okay, so that bulleted list, that’s more because, you know, there are holidays that change dates, as your mother says, like, they’ve only been scheduled for the last 5000 years, but the you know, the those dates that change, like, when would I update those things?

So that you can I mean, so like, for example, I’ll use Passover, because it just happened, right? Passover, you can schedule, if you wanted to, you know, if you had the calendar for the whole year, you could do all the Jewish calendars, you can do all of the holidays, right? And then when you do it, do you want to do it, you know, I would say at least the year before, right? So that you have as you’re looking at dates, I mean, right? So Christmas doesn’t change, but the date of Easter changes, right. So you know, you can always start with what you know, as we always say, like, so there are certain things that like the 25th of December won’t be changing. But you know, or the 26th if you do boxing day or whatever. But, um, but then you might say, oh, like, I’m gonna put my holiday, my my, my my vacation around those things. But you could put, for example, eight days, Passover, you know, block, if you wanted to, something like that. And it’ll be somewhere like, usually, it’s middle end of you know, so put it like in the middle eight day block, and then you can edit it. But realistically, you can get that information now. So it’s more about getting all the information that you do know, and then things like appointments. Doctor, yeah, appointments, travel, you know, but even things like graduations for kids, or like that stuff, you know, but then it’s like, what are the dates of I’m making this up their soccer games, that stuff you start to fill in as you get the information. So when would you do it ASAP, of all the stuff, you know, because there’ll be so many other things that you don’t know that then as those things come, there’s fewer of those. Now, that’s the whole concept of being caught up is you’ve already done all this stuff, you know. So as things come, that you don’t know, or as things change that you didn’t know, it’s really easy to modify what you already have created.

Okay, it’s interesting. So I spent an hour today or I set a timer for an hour with the intention of doing calendaring. Because I have some travel coming up, I need to get flights and all that stuff. And it was very interesting, I kind of blanked out in the middle of it. And then, but I did, but I also did it like it happened, like the things that I need to do have, it was very interesting. It’s like a kind of had an out of body experience, but also got the things done that I needed to get done, because I had to get back to somebody with my dates for May. So it does require a lot of focus, or it requires focus. And so just to do it, you know, when to set aside the time to do it, is what I’m I guess Yeah, I

mean, the out of body experience is something you’ve experienced before with with our work together and definitely my clients, you’ll see it even in classes or people be like we What did you just, you know, like where people just it’s like, so I wouldn’t do an hour what I would do is do 229 minute work portions with a 15 minute in between. There’s a reason that we don’t do more than 29 minutes and you know, someone might be listening and be like, Yeah, I need a three hour block. Don’t tell me what to do. But what I would say is like generally, the more details you have, the more blocks you want to set up with the more breaks in between like it can take 29 minutes to schedule one plane thing. And if you know you’ve got now another 31 minutes to go, I would be like, Oh, do I keep got like I, you know what I mean? So it’s like, it’s more I would say set yourself up to win if it takes more than 29 minutes to do the first thing, okay. But then I would put the break in there because we can get, you know, cross eyed just doing the one thing, let alone, you know, all the things around it. And so what I would say is, you know, sort of how we have millionaire minutes and calendaring in productivity lab. Ideally, when you look at your grant, do you also review your calendar, you know, before or after, you know, like, there should be a daily review of the calendar, I screwed up the other day because I was like, I’m not working for Passover. And I totally forgot a frickin radio interview that I had going on because the person did it. Before we close the calendar, we decided, Oh, it’s fine. But in my mind, I wasn’t working, you know. So, thing mistakes happen. But the more frequently you’re reviewing it, the more you’re setting yourself up to win that. It’s not going to require a lot of you to do it.

Right, the maintenance is magic idea.

Yeah, I know. Oh, go ahead. No, no, please. Another fun thing you can do. Also, I haven’t really talked about this, but I used to do this with my assistant years ago is you can do your calendaring and an accountability fashion form if you want to like if calendaring feels heavy. So your accountability partner can save you like oh, like oh, so Leslie, what do you have going on tomorrow? And you’re like, oh, I have data data? And I guarantee you’ll be like, oh, did I put the thing? You know what, it doesn’t even matter if it’s today, you know, and then be like, so what do you have going on April, you know, Tuesday, April 26. And then the other person’s like, wait is the 26th a Tuesday? Why did I think that was a Thursday, like, just all these weird things will appear. Literally, my friend left me a message today because my family is going to Columbia. She’s like, I’m so excited that that’s coming up so soon. And I was like coming up so soon. And I looked at the calendar. And I like thought it was a week, I thought I had a whole nother week like I just but because she said that in the accountability that I was like, oh, you know. So that’s another really fun thing that you can do. And you can have, you know, either your shame accountability partner, or if someone else like needs calendaring support to do that together. And it’s actually very fun and lightens the whole vibe of calendaring.

And do you do it on text? Or? No? Like,

is it a phone call? Okay, I do in a phone call, because that’s what I used to do with my assistant years ago, and it just there was so much like that. I was like, oh, like all the examples I’m giving you those were real things that happened, you know, like, I didn’t know what day it was, you know, and that’s with people who are focused on doing it, you know? Okay, that’s great. All right, thank you

that I was asking about was the whole concept of the the to do list like the rolled into the annual calendar

what is your question about it? Can you talk more about that? So the idea is that let me just duplicate this right now because it’s let me just give me an example here. So hold on a second. Just gonna do it like this. It’s gonna take thanks alright, so I’m just going to share screen these are just people’s but that is not any personal information. So here are these are all the dates of people that you know things, birthdays, etc. You know, anniversaries just in May. Which may not seem like a lot, but it’s, you know, 246 things. For me that’s a lot because I’m not a big even like birthday anniversary person. So I’m like a May. Like I have to remember these things, you know, anyway. So the idea is that you have your whole calendar, so this is January, just make sure you’re still there. Okay, let’s say since this is someone called, okay, okay. So the idea is that then what you would do so this is what we’re not in May, but let’s Alright, let’s just say I’ll say Alright, so we’re in April, right? So this is going to be the advanced version is that you just have the year long calendar and today’s top three That is Oh, that’s what you’re referring to correct? Yes. Right, exactly. So So you would have here above it. I don’t know why this looks like this. But okay, it’s convenient for screen sharing anyway. And then you would have your, you know, I’m not going to go in and make a table, but you would have today’s top three, right. And so what you would do is you would be looking at April, right? Now, you might have this more fleshed out with like, your appointments, your, you know, whatever, I’m not really using mine this way, I have my appointments at the top. It’s all customizable. So however you want to do it, but I put my appointments above today’s top three, because that’s where I spend most of my time. And then this is more for intentional, like long term planning. So I have today’s top three, I look at the things that are going on. Now these dates aren’t accurate, but like, Okay, so let’s say like the 30th, we’re, we’re flying out to Columbia, right? And so I’m going to say like, you know, 28th, let’s pretend I don’t need it. You don’t need it for Columbia. But let’s pretend I needed to get a PCR test, right? And then I would need to pick it up on the 23rd. Maybe I do the 27th. So the whatever, right, so like, you just start backtracking with these things. And then like you would have them all written out, right? And then so then when you look at today’s top three, and you’re like, Okay, it’s the 25th I’ll be doing that to two producers. Alright, so you know what I’m not you know what this is going to have to wait till blah, blah, blah, like it then naturally prioritizing when you have it all in front of your face of the next month. It just makes it so much more less BSE with oneself, of what you really are going to accomplish, let alone how you happen to be feeling and whatever happens to be going on in life that day that you woke up, you know, it’s really confronting, I’m not gonna lie. I mean, this is you know, people think the grand to do is confronting this is highly confronting, and most people frankly, I hope to be at a point and I hope to lead at a point that my clients are ready for this. And I don’t say this in a Hexing sarcastic in any way, way, but most of my clients are not. Are they able? Yes. Are they ready and willing to do this? Their most are not. And that’s why I don’t teach it because I don’t find it. That relevant to my current clientele. Okay, but if you know, I mean, that’s why I’ve taught it privately, when I’ve tried teaching it in group things people had like a mutiny, you know?

Okay, all right. Um,

I am bringing in this year, I mean, I will be, you know, planning to, but it hasn’t quite yet felt the right time. So

Well, I think I wanted to hear about it again, because I know that it’s an aspiration for myself. And I will admit that as I’m hearing, I’m like, I can’t do this. Like I just so that’s reality.

Why, I mean, since you brought it up, why do you feel like you can’t do it?

What are the excuses that I have? So what comes up for me is, I’m using a paper calendar, I’m using Google Calendar, and now trying to work with Calendly. I have this thing called, like a gentle time planner. Like, I need to I’m not. I’m searching for my calendaring solution. I think the most important thing is the regularly looking at my calendar, the regular review and confirm like, those are the things that I need to do. And so what’s coming up with this is like, I mean, I just have a voice in my head saying I can’t do it.

I guess we’ll see if that’s true or not.


Yeah, well or not like, it’s it’s like, I know that it’s again, it’s an aspiration, because you’ve talked about it before. And so I’m like, that sounds like an idea. But as you’re explaining it, I’m like I can’t do it. Can I maybe? I don’t know.

Here’s what I would say just because I know Lesley and I have worked together for a long time. I would say for you Lesley I’m saying I would say give it a try for like do April and May you already have a lot of this stuff on here. So you’re closer than anyone anyway with this, you know, so I would say give it a try for April. I mean Yeah, so do it just for April and May like just copy April in May on the bottom of your grand to do right copy those ones that you already have. So April will be January, February, March, April. So that will be five or six days, whatever just to like look at it in May, and just flesh them out there because even if you’re searching for your calendaring solution, getting the information is going to help you wherever you choose to do it. You know, so taking the time that you’re spending and just listing out as usually you’ll find that there’s more and less simultaneously than you thought there was, you know, so just do it for one month and five days and then see, you know, and just you since you’re copying it, you can delete anything for April that comes before, right. You know what I mean? So it’ll just be like, whatever you have in April and May. And then, and then report and see what happens, how it feels. Okay,

I will do it. In fact, if you open the breakout room, I’ll do a 20 minute work portion. And

you’re right, I was just thinking I was gonna say you could do right now. I will do. Alright, let’s see how it goes. And you can report back a sign automatically. Here we go. Okay. 29 You’re welcome. Jim, I see you are next. Hello.

Hi, everybody. Um, I have a lot to report. But also, that just really made sense to me. It didn’t. I’m just curious, why do you put APR like why did you use the word out?

So that’s in the program? I can I’ll bring you back to this video that I did in the program Hold on a second, let me go.

I have not dived into whatsoever, because I just

put this link here. Let me share a miniature screen again. And go to the program which is Hold on a second. This and this is under Let me see. Working on this is my way. Second. Sorry, the zoom thing is, here we go. Okay, so I’m going to search. You’re going to search I’m going to do Leah Fisch.

In the program. How to write a proposal? Sometimes it takes time to Okay. I think it is this one. Hey, everyone in the program. So Joe and J are doing love lab and they were selling it they had two couples that went back out. So they currently have one couple now. That may not be here. It’s this one. So I’m going to tag you in this. Thank you the video. Here.

You tired of me? Yeah. I liked seeing that out there. And

oh, wait, I’m sorry. Wait, hold on a second. Or two. Oh, Leslie, your who was just talking right now?

Jam said or that was Leslie and will you tag me and I just joined from my computer? If you wouldn’t mind. That’d be great.

You want me to tag you in this video? Leslie? Yes, please. Yes, sure. Okay, no, do that.

Okay. And then you make break it runs again. Please again, if you don’t mind.

Oh, hello, I Oh, it’s so much has happened since I went on to share screen. Alright, hold on a second. Leslie’s on a different computer.

Okay, so sorry. I’m late. I was in bootcamp. But Hi everybody.

Welcome within one. I’m just assigning we had a conversation with welcome I with Leslie about calendaring. And now we’re speaking with Jim. Okay, I’ll listen. And feel free to put your name Lindsey Briana and you have not don’t have your names in the chat. So if you want to chat, feel free to pop your names and Okay. Okay. Thank you too. Sure. Okay, Jan, back to you.

That really made sense to me because honestly, my my goal for this week is to because, as I have a new role like as the CEO of my mom, it’s care or, and, you know, the last few weeks it’s been just like, doing what needs to be done that’s in front of me taking the doctor and just looking listening to her concerns and trying to like troubleshoot. But like, this week, I have the time to not I’m going to just looking at an overview of may and just see what my goals are. And I have some so that I just that made sense to me to look at. Like, I’ll look at it a little more how to structure it. I’d also like you all to witness and celebrate with me that in the midst of it, you know, ongoing heartbreak that I’m working through and dealing with my mom stuff, I was offered an amazing opportunity to buy this dream house that I stayed out in Marfa, Texas. That was a historic Dancehall, which is basically a roller skating rink. It has the bathtub in the middle of the bedroom. It’s like my dream. It’s like my dream house. Wow. And I’m under contract. And I wrote the most brilliant, it’s all the magic. I mean, I wrote the most brilliant. I mean, my writing is my superpower. I wrote like an awesome buyer’s letter to lie, I love it. And I might it turned out, you know, because I had a good relationship with the owners Viet when I rented from them and Airbnb, you know, they they didn’t put it on the market. They reached out through Airbnb to see if anybody was interested, they thought that apt to be a steward for this historic property. And I wrote them right away and followed up. And then it turned out, they hadn’t even set a price. They’re like, Would you like to talk to our realtor, I’m like, one of my best friends is a realtor in Austin and they knew each other and it’s all it’s happening. And in the meantime, we’re still getting, you know, crazy texts from my accent Austin, but like, trying to, like work through that process and getting on the other side of it. And, you know, and I am about to, like, I want to I realize I want to use my superpower of writing to write a vision, I’ve written a vision for myself, but like to share that vision with my mom and a vision for like, that respects her as a, you know, fully cognizant adult, but like, like, she’s, she’s looking at her, her, you know, end of life care, and what is it going to look like? And she’s, you know, understandably depressed, because it’s not that much fun. And I’m like, I’m gonna, I want to, you know, and I’m also standing for myself as like, Okay, I’m like, in my 60s now, and like, I need to get my life and I want. So I want to, like lay out some options of like, how I see this going, and also support her like, it’s like, it’s not like, like, I don’t I’m not saying she needs to go to assisted living right now we need to go look at places and find out if she likes them and get on a list because they probably aren’t even available right now. I mean, those are the kinds of things that are on my to do list. And, and also to, yeah, I realized that like, I’m only two months into this role of heavy duty, mommy, because, you know, as my therapist said, like people who have children learn quickly that they are not number one anymore. I do not have children other than my four children and I have been totally autonomous my whole life even though I am a really good daughter and take responsibility for helping my mom but, and I’ve certainly took good care of her all through the pandemic. But this is like a whole other level of like involvement. And I just want to create a,

you know, a scenario where she feels seen and heard. I mean, one thing that’s going on is like, she wants to kvetch to me, and then I am like the man like I want to I see it as a problem that I want to fix. You’re not happy with the caregivers. Let me find another caregiver that you like, or let’s fix it. And sometimes I have to pivot and just be like, Oh, that really sucks. Or you know, like, it’s just just like, who am I going to talk to about it besides you? And I’m like, How about my therapist, but you’re now seeing, you know, but it’s like, so much I brag I got my mom to go to therapy, you know, but it’s a process and it’s only been two months. So I have to take a step back and go all right, I’m already done with the caregiving like, I’m like, let’s just get her in assisted living. So I can go to Texas, like but it’s it’s not it’s like there’s many steps on this road, like my mother is getting better. She could be more independent, she probably doesn’t need to go to assisted living anytime soon. So as long as there’s people coming in and checking on her or like I have people that if I want to go out of town, that it’s like I’m arranging for care but like it’s just a tricky line because you know, she’s still like a Cognizant adult that I’m respecting as a wise adult, but I’m also like, being the the driver of the situation too. No, because I’m the only one that’s here. And I am, I would like to just brag that, you know, I am doing all the self care and I am getting support, and I am reaching out to people. And you know, and asking. You know, it’s like in asking for support or just for people to listen to me event or give me ideas. But I’m also like, I’m the only one that’s here. So, and I’m looking at IO and my note that says schedule IO. And maybe IO can help me learn how to delegate because when you’re talking about delegating, it’s like, you know, people have listened to me and said, you should get why don’t you get into personal assistant to do all the stuff that you don’t want to do? And it’s like, and then I feel like my mom, I’m like, I don’t want to, it’s like, in the time that it would take me to explain them what I want them to do, I could just do it, you know. But we’ll see, you know, it’s like, it could get to the point where I do need to delegate. And

I really, I recommend just on that one that you reach out to Libby talked about her getting at a house manager, she initially was quite resistant. And then it’s like the greatest joy of her life at this time. So I recommend you reach out to or you can do it in the group, you know, house managers, what I learned the term from, I actually learned it when I went to Rachael Rogers conference. And there’s a lot of people there from Oregon, and Seattle. And that’s what they call house managers, the term that they use for well, it’s like housekeeper, but it’s too, it’s kind of different, because it’s someone who may take care of the job, but they can like order, you know, whatever order things for you. Like, they’ll also arrange that. Like, to me that’s more than a housekeeper, they’ll arrange to have

like a personal assistant that

well, but it’s a combination of personal assistant. And like, for example, Libby’s person, like buys and has fresh flowers that would be liked, like, there and stuff like that. We’re, I mean, in a personal, you know, whatever they it’s, they can do all the things you can do define the scope. But that concept of, you know, I think there’s a lot of I know, you had more to say, jam, and we’ll get back in, but just in the concept of people, you know, that’s what my mother always says, for example, is by the time you explain it, you could do it yourself. But the reality is, we’re, you know, we’re all helping her all the time. Because that’s not, that’s not really true. You know, there’s a lot of things that once you do, explain it, someone can do it. And if you need, like tinkering with them, you know, that does take a minute and all these things, but there’s enough of those things. And especially as you’re expanding your life, that maybe you don’t want to do it. But if you take the time to invest in someone else, being able to do it, you have that as a backup plan. Even, you know,

I get that because No, I mean, I see it with my mom and the caregivers. It’s like, she doesn’t want to have to reinvent the wheel every time they come. And some of them should the one her favorite one tested positive last week and hasn’t been able to come but she called me which is against the rules. But she we love her because she’s a rebel. And she to let me know that she is helped tell my mom, she’s coming back. And she’s, you know, talk to her other agency to get so she can have more days with my mom. So she’ll at least have four days with my mom will have four days with the person that she really likes. Who does remember her? Like my mother’s like, you know, just like she’s the only one that remembers what I tell her and they joke around and I’m like, Okay, well, at least there’s one that she likes. So yeah, I put a link there just so I thought it would pop up and you could see the bathtub, but like you guys want to click on it. And there’s like a ton of pictures. And you can see my magical house. I don’t know how to. Wow. Are you clicking on it?

So we’re all looking at the same thing.

Do you see the bathtub? Oh, yes. Thank you. Wow. I mean, it’s truly I could brag the letter that I wrote about it was like, I mean, it’s true. Like it’s really like, when we got there. It’s one of them. Like I’ve always wanted to live in a lot, but I never wanted to live in an urban place. And it’s like this is done that’s like I’ve stayed there. It’s like when I am like I went through all kinds of like mishegoss about it. Like there couldn’t be a more difficult place to get to there. Marfa, Texas, it’s in the middle of nowhere, but but that’s part of its charm. And it also like I then I just I’m already having all these visions of like, Oh, I’m gonna sell my products there and Serena is products they have these bougie little stores and I could have a pop up and I could have Gaza goddess gatherings. I could put some glamping teepees in the front yard or I can put a clawfoot tub in the front on the patio and stargaze or like I just see myself going there. Ultimately, I see myself going there. are like a couple of months out of the year like in the best months, like may in October and just decompressing and roller skating and taking pictures and like being a part of this community of crazy artists and being one of those characters as I age and just like developing a relationship between here and Austin and Marfa and that even though like that maybe that guy that I was dating, his role is just to reconnect me with like, these people in Austin are like my soul family, it’s like I introduced them, and they they’re still married and have these beautiful family and, you know, we love each other to death. And now they’re, she’s the one that’s helping me buy it. And we’re, you know, we’re gonna go out there together and break it in. And, you know, like, it’s gonna be, I just, I’m having a real like vision for my life because the world is feels so like, uncertain. And so I’m not saying I would never get on a plane and go to Italy, but like, right now, I’m kind of like, my desire list is very small. Like I just like I can see myself going to Texas and back and keeping it like having like, a creating something like a building some roots. And if it doesn’t work out, you know, I mean, yeah, it’s a great investment. And yeah, I can they Airbnb to the, to the nines, you know, they, they’re having a baby, they had a baby, that’s why they’re selling it. And I think they’re having another baby, and a couple, and I just feel like, I feel thrilled. I’m just saying yes to the possibility, there’s a lot of unknown, but like, I’m really in the land of everything’s figured out about like, I don’t need to like hit the ground running and start investing, you know, are renting it out right away and making as much money off, it’s possible, I could just keep it and let it appreciate, like, I’ve learned so much, because I was already looking for an investment property because I had like a little windfall of cash during the pandemic. And too much to my money, managers chagrin, I just let it sit in a checking account for two years not earning any money, but I didn’t need that money. So it made I was comforting to have it. And now he was just about to invest in the stock market. And I said, and then the Ukraine situation happened. I’m like, you know, I’m not ready to invest it in any more money in the stock market. And now I’m buying this property. And I brag my brother, in talking about clutter free connection, like one of my desires last year was to have a better relationship with my brother. And that is totally happening. And we are totally talked about. He’s supporting me around my my mom’s the mom stuff. But also, I just happened to mention the other day that I had this money that I needed to invest this is before this came out. And he’s like, Oh, these people I know that, like, you know, we have money that we invest into, it’s like a real estate, like somebody puts together a deal. And they look for investors. So you own a percentage of it, and then you get dividends or money when they sell it or whatever. And he had some opportunity for me to also put money in that’s very safe. And it’s like a three year thing. And so I felt like I was like, Okay, great. Now I so I’m, I am like an idiot savant with money. Like I just, you know, I don’t sit there like, Madam County and do million spreadsheets. I just said like, Yeah, this is good. I’m good. Like, I’ll figure out the details later, you know.

So that’s, yeah, so now I was, I was really smart of me to not invest that money in stocks, because now I’m buying this house with cash, and then I’m going to invest in this other property. And then this week, I’m going to talk to my neighbor next door, I live on a shared, I have a shared driveway with my neighbor. And it’s always been my dream to buy that property and have the whole compound. And you know, but this woman, she’s the daughter of the people that built my house and her house, like it’s her birthday, she probably has like zero property tax and whatever, like, but her husband just died. And I’m like, I thought I would just make a friendly visit and be like, let you know, I always I’ve told her like, I am happy that this is your birthright. But like, if you ever want to leave, please talk to me. So I don’t and I’d like to just know once and for all, if she tells me like, I’m ready to hear the truth. Like if she tells me, I want to keep it in my family and give it to my nephew or whatever. She doesn’t have kids, but like, and then I’ll just know and I can just let go of that dream of like, you know, having this other house and having my kids my spirit family live next door to me in my old age and just feed me gummies you know, like, that’s my that’s my old age plan. You know, like, I don’t have kids so that I have spirit kids. So anyway, if that’s what that’s that’s what’s going on over here. I don’t have my skates on. But I brag that I forced myself to go to a roller disco event on Saturday night that I really didn’t feel like going to and I wore those silver silver high cut panties with my ass hanging out and I didn’t give a fuck. That’s when I can say the best thing about turning 60 is like, it is really true. I am giving away less facts and I’m speaking my truth to everybody. So thank you

for the incredible jam

on my new project.

Yes, I mean, as Lindsay said it already feels So do you see, and this is just this is what I think we’re really witnessing here is clutter free connection starting with yourself first, I feel your power coming through loudly and clearly. And yeah, it’s definitely filtering into all all that you’re sharing and all the aspects of life.

Well, it’s been, you know, it’s been a little rough with this, this breakup thing has been like ongoing I mean, I know I choose to keep it’s like I’m, I’ve really made the choice now to be done it but it’s still it’s just a process to, to heal and get the shrapnel out of my heart because I really, really went all in, but I realized I really went all in on a dream. When I really looked at the reality, the red flag, I just downplayed all the red flags, because I wanted all the good stuff. And I would have done it again, like I gotten, I got an example of what it would be like to be loved by somebody that I’m super attracted to and fill that in. And now I need to find somebody that can do it consistently. because consistency is sexy. And I’m not here like the whole push pull addict thing where they like, come closer, no, not now, and I got hooked into it. And that’s my pattern. And I’m just not, I just want to be done with it, you know, but I’m just saying in the middle of all that, like, I mean, I’m still really on that roller coaster where I’m having some really hard days. And then I’m like showing up for my mom. And then but I was like, I was still able to like, go okay, I am not missing this opportunity. Like, because I’m in a moment of having all these hard emotions. Because I know as God is my witness, I’m gonna go full Scarlett O’Hara on you know, like, I am going to heal from this, I am not always going to be suffering about Christian, I’m going to make new memories. I mean, maybe I’ll even meet a new person out there that like I’m taking the dream away from him. And just like, I want to be spending Christmas out there cooking with somebody and making fires and like, in under a faux fur rug, you know, like, I’m just gonna, like, I just, I guess that was like the biggest drag I was like, I am not I could see enough of the future. Like, I’m not always going to I’m having momentary difficult emotions. I had to really check myself like, why am I buying this property in Texas? Is it because I have some emotional connection to him or had some fantasy that he’s gonna come back? And then we’ll be out there? And it’s like, no, like, this is for me. This is this is like my healing and like, maybe he was he was just the vehicle to get me there. So

well, you know that expression, people come into our lives for a reason, a serious season or a lifetime. And it sounds like he was certainly a reason season. But yeah, maybe lifetime. Who knows. But definitely the fact that you’re then buying your dream house there. Thank you Christian.

And, and he, he texted me this, I let him know, I was putting an offer on the house. And because I had included him in the, in the buyers letter thing that I wrote and and his response was so made it so clear that we’re done. So I was like, great. I’m let the healing begin. And then of course, the next day yesterday, he texted me, Hey, do you think it would be okay, if we could just be friends? House like No, no, I don’t? I don’t think so. But I wrote a very I keep I wrote a very eloquent response. I was like, Look, you haven’t even acknowledged all of the thing, these things, but like, and maybe one day, I’ll get there. I would care about you very much. But right now I’m still healing. I’m still grieving from, you know, the death of our relationship. And I’m still, you know, I’m still to bruise so No, not right now. But I haven’t been willing to go full no contact and walk in. But that may be coming. I really am. You know, I can only go as fast as the slowest part of me can go.

Well, from everything you’ve shared that slow part of you is rocking and rolling. And it’s beautiful to witness. Thank you. So awesome. All right. Well, I’m excited to have a party and me for Texas. And our Marfa Marfa. Never even heard of it. But I can’t wait to go

there. And will you learn more about it? It’s very, it’s gotta it’s a very special place with like, it’s a mix of art. It’s an art and food. Foodie community mixed with well actually, there’s an Anthony Bourdain special on West Texas. Season Season. Okay, you want to learn about it, but it’s it’s yeah, it’s a it’s a unique place and I’m buying into the myth. The fact that it is so hard to get to is part of its allure. And the part that the fact that it’s so fucking impractical. It really appeals to me. But it’s still a good investment. Because people gonna go there. I mean, they have like 49, Airbnb or five star reviews and they’ve been it’s one of the most amazing places I’ve ever stayed at. So basically, that was the deciding thing. Like I had to get rid of all the other mishegoss. And then I just imagine waking up in that bed and putting on my roller skates and going over and making coffee and skating around the room and then taking a bath in the middle of the thing, which it’s like, I’m really happy. So

yay. Exciting, Jim. So, so happy for you. I feel it so much. I think we all do. It’s really exciting. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well keep us posted. And yeah, if you want to pop the video that you were talking to you about Anthony Bourdain in the WhatsApp group, feel free to do that. Over to you, Brianna. Hello, good afternoon.

Hi. Um, so, I have a little brag, which is that I recognized in our last session that I don’t want to continue to go through life with a negativity bias. And that I don’t have one for anybody other than me. And so I made a commitment to some friends to check in with them once a day. And in our little text thread, tell them a brag something that’s going well, something that put the put the flashlight on something that I’m doing well, or that’s going well for me. And I did it for about four days. And I brag that that’s four more days than I was doing it before. Well, right. I will go back to it again, after not doing it now for quite a number of days. And I brag presenting it to you that way, rather than focusing on the days that I didn’t do it.

Well, Brian,

and I have an awareness that if you don’t fill your life with the stuff you really want, it creates a vacuum. And in that vacuum, things you really don’t want can show up and become very compelling. So in the vacuum in my life right now, that’s created by in decisiveness and uncertainty about what I want to focus on through my work, to make money or even not make money, but like where what’s the like the thing, right? Other than right now therapy, and learning how to be in a relationship with George, who I don’t think is a permanent person, but it was a really good person for me right now to be playing with and experimenting with. And I brag that I am doing that and I’m learning a lot. But in that vacuum the universe through a major thing last week, which is that my mother called. And she and I have been gone from being completely estranged from one another, like no contact for many, many, many years for lots of reasons. To minimal contact, Happy Birthday, Happy Mother’s Day. COMM When she comes to New York from Florida, she and my sister meet her for lunch, and then she goes her way and we go ours. She’s completely mismanaged herself and her life with her husband for many years living way beyond their means with no planning and always waiting for the next deal. And my dad used to bail them out when they were completely flat broke and had debts with the wrong kind of people. My dad’s now incapacitated, he has no more. He’s not in charge of his finances, he can’t help them. And, and I do not I and my sisters do not want to use our power of attorney because there’s three blended families that are in my dad’s universe, and we can’t do that. There’s too many ex wives. So she contacted me and my sister and she spent her last $300 and they were about to turn off her cell phone for non payment of Bill and like total crisis and stepfather in the hospital and may need brain surgery and all of it all of it. And I need to know I mean, yes, I will talk to Ellen about on Tuesday, but like I don’t know how to even begin to understand what would be involved in me letting this person into my life in a way that wouldn’t I bring more drama and chaos than I would ever want, right? Like, and I don’t know, if I’m a person who wants to just say, sorry, not going to help you. I am going to help in some way. Even if my sister even if it’s just helping. It’s like, I need a strategy to sort through, what do I want to do here? And then how to do it. And even to research like what would be involved in terms of she needs some kind of case management or something. I don’t even know what it’s called, you know. Everything’s completely in chaos down there. You know, she has something she can sell, but I don’t think she has money for rent. I don’t think I mean, they’re living in a luxury condo, and she doesn’t have money for her phone bill. So I’m, I’m, I need to talk to somebody, somebody’s people who have some experience with what happens in a situation like this. And I want to do the brave soul thing, like I want to do the soul truth brave thing here. And not the thing that’s conditioned for approval.

And not the thing I on the one hand, I don’t want to let any like childhood wounding getting in the way get in the way of doing what’s truly the right thing for me and her. On the other hand, I don’t want to let the desire to be seen as the good daughter override what’s really best for me in my truth in my journey here on this planet and what work I’m here to do. And so I don’t want her drama to take over my life. If it’s not supposed to.

As far as who to talk to. You’re already I already put you in touch with the estate attorney. Jay? No, Jay is the real estate. Oh. Danny Nudelman Oh, yeah. So she might be someone as far as like a case manager. If anyone else has recommendations, please give them to Rihanna. I don’t know. That’s something that I don’t know the answer to. But certainly with estate things, there are situations that may be somewhat akin to a situation like this. So I would definitely reach out at least to Danny, to see if she has any thoughts on that. Because that she may not, but that might be a good resource. How does it affect state thing? No, but when they’re like when people have when there are when someone dies, and things are mess. People need to clean up the mess, who are those people, I’ve done it myself. But in this case, the person is alive. And it’s a different story. But I’m saying it’s akin, it’s in a situation that couldn’t be considered Akin. And Danny might have an idea or suggestion for you. She may not as I say, um, as far as like, you know, determining the strategy. I’m going to share a quick anecdote which was, I think is very relevant. And there’s no of course, there’s no one right answer. But during Passover, we had my family over 16 people total. One nephew is way but anyway, so it’s not like a huge number of people, but it’s, you know, fills up the room kind of thing. And at one point, my sister one of my sisters said to me, do you have mustard? My son who’s 25 or something? Would like it for his brisket and or for his stew, whatever. And I said, I said yep, it’s in the fridge in the door. And that was a shocking, unexpected, appalling, whatever response and they were just like silent. They didn’t actually like open their eyes like this, but they pretty much did. And eventually, my nephew did not nobody got up and got the muster. And that took my whole life to be able to say that. And it was not like in an aggressive like I said it very, I was like, oh sure it’s in the door in the fridge in the door. But naturally when they didn’t respond to it because they were shocked is my interpretation. I ran through all the things in my mind For many days to share really openly with you about that. And what I what I did was I had an unconditioned response, right to someone asked me just because I was already hosting my home. Right now, to be fair, they had brought food. I mean, it was more of like a potluck II kind of thing. It wasn’t like we cooked and clean. Nonetheless, just because I’m the host, we still had plenty of cleanup to do even with everybody helping because that’s how it is for a host. But I’m not going to take on I want to have I have gatherings, even with COVID, just with my family or friend like quite frequently now, thank God, because that’s the whole thing i’d love and the whole point of having a house. But what I’m not going to do, as much as I love being the Jewish mother kind of thing in the dream, like Jan was talking about in the dream. The reality is, is I don’t want to be like my mother up till 11 o’clock at night, at 80 years old washing your dishes. Now you can put your dishes in the dishwasher, you can get your mustard. But that tiny thing was a hugely unconditioned and shocking response. And it’s then upon my nephew, my sister if they want to get the mustard or not. And I have to let that be. Because after I was literally in a conversation with my other nephew, and I went back to the conversation, then of course, I was slightly distracted. But I said to myself, I’m not going to do and model for this nephew, who’s younger, that I’m the person says, Oh, hold on, I’m the woman, the host, I have to go get up like, right, I’m, as much as I’m modeling to them, I’m also modeling to them, and I’m modeling and embodying myself. And it was a big deal, that tiny mustard story was a big deal. And I can’t process it on Facebook, because my sister, you know, that just, that just wouldn’t be a good idea. But But the reason that I shared this, thank you jam, it really was a big deal. And

the reason that I shared this was because there was like the initial response of like, and then they’re like the like, full body, don’t get out of your seat thing. And then it took the emotional intelligence work to like, really continue and not pretend to be in the conversation with my other nephew. Like to not be like glancing and worried, and then try to save them from their reaction to mask my own discomfort and just oh, just one sec, let me get the mustard, you know, none of those things that required a lot for me. And it was a really powerful thing. And then of course, for days, I was like, I wonder if my sister hates me now because she didn’t like and she’s. And then she called to tell me about some things Someone was giving away. And did I want whatever. And I was like, No, it just, it was it was something that happened that I probably made a bigger deal about. But I could have made it into a thing if I had made any other choice but by by by by committing to hold to what was in my mind and my heart and my body the right thing to do. It wasn’t a thing. You know, in some families that could have been like a big blow up, you know, right or whatever, or my sister could have not talked to me or, or whatever. But it was perfectly pleasant and not in a like pretend way it really didn’t become a thing. I think everyone what I’m hearing

is you communicated not only the message, but also there was there was a legitimacy to it in your own system, where you were just it was just like a naturalness and and an embodiment of a truth that had a legitimacy. So you didn’t get pushback? Sometimes if we communicate our own ambivalence about it, or our own sense that oh, well, I can’t I can’t then we get the pushback to reflect it back to to

flee said exactly. But then there was a religion, missy, but then the mind took over, you know, in the following days, but I had to keep coming back, as you say to that legitimacy, which was actually what fueled it in the first place. And I think if we can continue, I really see jam doing this in everything that she’s sharing of actually caring for her mother, how convenient, right of making the choices first for herself. If you don’t start with yourself, for those of us undoing people pleasing. We have to start with ourselves. So it’s not tampered with resentment, right? Because otherwise, it’s too muddy. And so if you go back to your own legitimacy here, I actually hear you Brianna. Not in the words that you say the words that you say Don’t say this, but your energy is actually strong and clear, you actually have the willingness and the ability to do something to, to have some kind of interaction with your mother to not take on the chaos. That is there, because you have the awareness, and you have the willingness to touch it, but not to take it on. And that’s a place maybe I don’t know that you were in that place, when we first met, whenever it was six months ago, or whatever, you know, you’re you’re making decisions in relationships in a much more intentionally powerful way, by by giving yourself the space to think

about it. Right, and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Exactly. That’s exactly what I was gonna say. So it’s not black and white, it doesn’t have to be one thing. So if you if you know that you’re willing to touch it. But you also know that there’s no answer of what you have to do. Right? It’s not that you have to good girl it and get up and get the mustard yourself. What that can look like, is anything. And it can look like, you know, if you have I don’t know, if you have siblings, or you have a sister, you said, your sister wants to, you know, having a powwow with your sister of what the you know, code sharing of touching looks like or whatever, you know, but as you as you continue to check in with yourself, and that legitimacy is what fuels the interaction, it’s a much safer place. And then from there asking, Danny asking whoever else asked me, your sister, whatever, whatever the things you may find, I mean, there may be someone with a formal role to support your mother in that kind of thing. Maybe it involves calling the co op board or the condo where she lives. Jam has something to say, um, you know, maybe you can look into the things that are involved, or you can, you know, have an assistant look into, you know, have someone else look into these things, or whatever. But the thing is to kind of sit with yourself in the in the legitimacy of saying, I will, but not how people might think I would. And then and then have a to do list of and start to work through it knowing that clarity reveals herself over time. So that as you start to do it, you’ll start to have more clarity and more ideas and more willingness or non willingness as the situation continues. Hit it damn.

Well, I really just want to honor you Rihanna, for how much of a like how wise you are, and how much emotional intelligence or like your ability to like, see the Locate the whole situation for yourself? And know, and I mean, I’m really, I think just going to be piggybacking on what what Leah said about legitimacy, and knowing like, you’re already talking about how it feels in your body, right? Like, I honor like, like, I know that when I first started having boundaries, like in my 50s, how scary it was, and how, you know, like, I’m literally that was my biggest wish, and mastery was, can I just say no to people and not have like, and let them have their feelings and not feel like I’m responsible. And it’s taken me, it’s still hard. But I’m much more willing to have hard conversations now because of all this other work that I’ve done. So I just, I don’t know where you’re at with all that. But what I really hear you saying is that, like, I know how scary it is to open a door to somebody who is just so much drama, and that you’ve gotten in a good place where you like you’ve had the boundary, so you haven’t had to deal with it. And now it’s like, here it is. And I know that like I look back at the beginning, like I had to set a boundary with a friend that was a really good old friend that I experienced as an energy vampire. And I didn’t handle it very well. And it it because I wasn’t I was so afraid, you know, to have the conversation at all, but I knew, but I’m just saying I wouldn’t have handled it that way today. But I know like every time I think about interacting with that person, I still think if I give an inch will take a mile you know, but then I have to tell myself is that now I have the tools that if she starts coming out me, I can set the boundary now like I couldn’t before, but now I know how. And it sounds like you’re in the midst of building those tools for yourself. And this is I mean, what could be tougher than having it be like Your mom, your, you know, pulling on you for, you know, save me from my money, you know mismanagement or whatever, like that just sounds like really, really tough. So I just want to honor you for, like wanting to handle it in all the things that you said were so brilliant and you know, and I just seconding what I said, it’s like, it’s kind of like being in the, at least when you’re clear about how you feel and what you want. Like everything, I hear what you said, you want the best solution, but not to compromise yourself. And it doesn’t need to look like it’s not about what it looks like to other people. It’s like, what, what can you live with and what feels good to you to do and the right thing to do. And that’s an exploration. So if there’s any way if I can support you and text or whatever, just, I love, love celebrating and bragging and being you know, like, like, focusing on what’s good. Like, that’s like, that’s how I want

to live. I have to do the bad girl exercise on this. Yes. Like,

that’s like, I totally like that’s how I feel too. Like, I feel like sometimes I feel so mean that thoughts I have about my mom, like, I just want to put her in a assisted living and go move to West Texas, you know, and get the fuck away from all of this. But I’m not gonna say that to her. I’m gonna make it real pretty. But I’ve still knowing what but I still hear what I’m saying to myself that okay, that’s the dream for her to have care that she feels good about and that I have freedom. So, anyway,

thank you, Jim.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, let’s be bad girls together with our moms.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there’s true. There’s, there’s really, you know, there’s there’s two, there’s more than one dimension to this, right. There’s the practicality. And then there’s also sort of the emotionality and those are to untangle those is a good thing.

Yeah. And also in Joumor. The idea is that the emotionality and the practicality are very inter connected. And that’s why I’m saying, you know, often as we start to look at the practicality that’s involved, we get clarity on our emotionality. Right. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just even my sister sending me all these links for caregiver agencies. I was very clear to me, I didn’t want to read about all those things. It’s not, that was not a job I wanted to do. So yeah,

it sounds like it’s a time sensitive issue, though. Or is it? Like she’s right. It’s

hard to know her. It’s hard to know she’s, she’s she’s hysterical. She’s not making a whole lot of sense. Like last year, when she came to us for money she at least had some clarity about she was tracking things. Right now. I don’t know if it’s the stress of him being in the hospital and maybe dying in May, he may die. His daughter is down there now. So at least there is a there is a competent adult in on the scene. So at least for right now. She’s not alone in this. But yeah, it’s hard. It’s hard to know, because in the past, she’s also presented things as being extremely dire. And they weren’t. So but that thank you, I just needed to put it out there and just sort of get some beginnings have some feedback to sort of know how to just start to approach this.

Well, and I think if you ask yourself, Briana, the question of like, okay, now Joumor Joumor. Tool. Okay, cool. So now what? You know, it’s like, okay, cool. So now what? And I think if you kind of ask yourself that question regularly, you know, that that the idea of that is that we kind of aren’t accepting what is and then saying like, okay, cool. So now what like literally that emotional in the practical in one fell swoop. It’s not saying like, get over it. It’s saying, okay, cool. You know, she has presented things as being dire. They may be dire, it’s hard to know. I’m not there. She may be evicted from her condo while her husband is maybe in a dire situation. Okay, cool. So now what like what you know, and asking yourself and answering yourself, and if it’s I don’t know, it’s Is there anyone I can ask for help. You know, or shouldn’t Jim and I get on our roller skates and just talk about this, you know, whatever. But we’re definitely here. You know, if you want to put anything in the group I Uh, you know, too, as you work on things, you want to share what you’ve done what you’re considering, know, staying connected with these kinds of things makes it really different. So that’s what I would say, I would say stay connected. And you You are strong in a way that I think maybe you haven’t been or didn’t believe you were or, or whatever. And I think you’re going to make great decisions here.

Thank you. I mean, for me to even admit that I’m considering not helping her is a big deal.

And I think you can you can feel that we received that with total respect and appreciation, and not in a loving and not in an unloving way toward your mother. Yeah, it’s actually with all the love like it really. That’s how

we mean I already paid her phone bill for a few months. And I sent her a check and all of that, but I, as far as like getting involved, like being there and taking on the whole, like managing the rest of her life. I’m considering not doing that.

Yeah. That makes sense. Thank you. Welcome. We’re right on the money here. timewise. Lindsay, io. If Leslie comes back, we have three minutes. Does anyone want to throw anything I know of Lindsey, we got to talk earlier today in the program, but is there anything else you were I want to mention? Otherwise? We’ll we’ll wrap up in these two minutes here.

No, I’m good.

Okay. All right. I am. Thank you.

And just standing for a jam and Brianna, really, for all of us. It’s amazing. What we have to Joumor in life, but it makes us better people, right?

I think so. And it’s better together. Lindsay, I saw you and you did right at the same time as I Oh, did you want to say anything?

Yes, I just wanted to Brianna, just love you up one side and down another. And I know that’s an incredibly just equally so a jam. It’s just an incredibly difficult position to be and I’ve, I’ve done it in a different way for my in laws. years ago, they’ve since passed. But it’s really, really tough. And that book, The crucial conversations, tools for talking when the stakes are high was really helpful for me to get the 60,000 foot view and ground all of my emotions and theirs. And to be able to say something, deliver a sentence with unattached emotion and full permission for them to just show up however, they’re going to show up. And anyways, I just want you to know that you are loved and supported. And I trust you will find your way to

you. Yeah. Thanks, Lindsay. Beautiful.

I will definitely check out that book.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, we’re all like it too.

Yeah. Looking forward to talking to Iowa about this too.


Yeah, I’m gonna reach out to Ohio right

after this. Okay. I will get you Brianna and look forward to talking to you to GM. I’ll send you some dates. But yeah, no, okay.

Okay, great. And just and just speaking of that, that reminder to everyone if you didn’t read the policy reminder, email, please read it. So like the all clear. Okay, great. Joumor. Yes. Hashtag Joumor Look at you reading all the emails. Jan. Love it.

Is that one?

Oh, just that one. Okay. Let’s see, you’re back. Right on the minute here. How did that go for you? If you want to give us a check in on that it was I know it was longer than 29 minutes. So how did it go?

It did some other stuff too. It went great. It was like I like it. It’s not hard. Yeah, that so hard. It’s actually useful. Like tomorrow is my cousin’s birthday. What I want to do about that, you know?

So yeah, thank you. Cool. Yeah, awesome. Jam. It might also be helpful for you to try this method. The monthly thing I’ll not right now because we’re going out of the country, but when I come back, I’ll say like in June, I’ll do the video. Oh, for this one.

But I’ll watch the little video that you made. And I think I mean, I get enough of it to do it for one month. And it totally makes sense to how my brain works. Yeah, good. Okay, I’m already using the calendar. I mean, I kind of just already put it just right on the calendar. But I think just having that like, reminder like, oh, what’s what’s, what are these dates? Like, this week? Yeah.

Yeah, and it’s great, you know, I really appreciate all of the things that everyone is talking about here, whether it’s straight up calendaring details, or what to do with, you know, caring for a parent, it really comes down to how much willingness and show up ness to bring to the task at hand, you know, and the more that we work on these things, and process them together with the great minds of not just obviously, myself, but of each other, and the other, you know, teachers and mentors that you have, and that we can bring that to each other that Lindsay can recommend, not only from her own experience, but also a book, you know, that that speaks to the very thing that two people are working with here, you know, is, is really the opportunity of it. And it’s to say, you know, not to get it all correct. But just like Leslie said, simply her cousin’s birthday smarter. What does she want to do about that? Maybe something maybe nothing like, but it’s asking yourself first, you know, what is the thing and then doing from there? You know, so, as we continue to, to come back to asking ourselves, that’s really, the whole concept of clutter free connection is when it starts with ourselves. That’s when we can truly bring clutter. freeness, you know, into all of the aspects of our lives all the way up to the highest level of relationships, which are by far, the toughest, I would say. So may we all go forth? That being said, and be numerous? i And yeah, please stay connected in the group. If you haven’t watched Lesley Oh, sorry. Let Libby’s somebody lose a Libby’s video. I think, you know, I think most of you did watch it. But I highly recommend I know, she was sorry, she couldn’t be are you having to? Sorry, she couldn’t be here today. And she’s been very busy with surgery and whatever. But I thought it was a really wonderful and, yeah. And so for people to stay connected in the group and to support each other, obviously, in a way that feels true to yourself. So not in a way that doesn’t. But I think we, you know, as we continue to see, we have so much to learn from each other. Even if it’s just a sharing with each other. There’s so much here, so. So thank you again, for being here. And I look forward to seeing everyone next week, if not earlier at productivity lab.

One quick brag. I’m teaching my first workshop tomorrow. And I’m modeling it in part and what they’ve learned here, so yeah. Yes, wonderful people.

Love it. That’s amazing. So thank you. Yay, that is so awesome. Congratulations, Lesley. Yay. Yay, yay. Yay. All right. Well, everyone, please stay connected and see you all very soon. Bye bye.

Take care

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