“Don’t complain to me if you’re not going to do anything about it.” – Grover to Otis, Kicking and Screaming, 1995, directed by Noah Baumbach (my favorite movie 🙂
Do what it takes
There are things you say you want. But are you willing to do what it takes to get them? It’s not original or unusual- in fact it’s pervasive: Most people “want” things but would never do what it takes to get there. Most of us are more or less stuck where we are. We might go up and down a little over time, but we basically don’t change. Why?
- You want to lose weight but you don’t like to be hungry…or to work out.
- You want your Love but you don’t like dating and nobody’s good enough.
- You want more freedom in your job, or more money, or a different job, but you just stay put.
- You want to get out of debt but you keep buying whatever you want with no more income.
- You want to save for retirement or emergencies…but you’d rather go on vacation.
- You want a clutter-free home but you keep buying more things because you can’t find anything…and there’s so much stuff you can’t clean and it just gets worse…
- You need to go to the doctor or the dentist but you’re just too busy…
The list of things we want but will never get because we won’t do what it takes could probably go on forever.
Setting yourself up to win
The philosophy of Joumor is about Setting yourself up to win and Setting yourself up to receive.
New Joumor students will complain that they have to choose only ONE goal. New CEO Rise clients (my yearlong 1-1 coaching clients) will argue that they do wayyyyyy more than THREE things per day and MUST schedule more. Great! I tell them, feel free to do more, but let’s set you up to win. That way, in case you don’t have to achieve what you set out to, you didn’t miss the mark on 25 things- it was one thing. Or maybe three. But not 25.
We’d rather list, discuss or complain than do
After 15 years of working with organization and productivity, here’s what I have observed (and lived- yes, I struggle with this, too!) over and over:
We’d rather list, discuss or complain about all that we have to do rather than do it. Of course we would. It’s easier to grab our bellies or our hips and give them a disgusted shake rather than becoming diligent about doing the things it takes to arrive at the perfect body for us.
In Joumor we say, there’s no such thing as “Just do it.” It’s a great concept, but what does it take to Just Do It? Because if you could have just done it, you would have. So there’s clearly more to the story.
It can be frustrating to take action and feel it doesn’t work- you’ve invested your time, emotionally, perhaps financially…and it stinks when it doesn’t work. In some cases it seems this failure has put you even farther from your goal.
Persistence. Willingness. Creativity. Community.
When you keep your eye on the prize and are willing to try different things until you get there, or understand what’s needed to get there, one of two things will happen:
- You’ll decide you don’t want to get there.
- You will get there.
- You’ll get somewhere else than you planned, but it’s all good, because you got somewhere.
Get started. Get help. Get real.
Ok, so where does this leave you?
Get started. Are you ready, once and for all, to go for it? If yes, put it in your mindset that it will take a minimum of six months or a year to achieve it, and there will be ups and downs along the way, but you give your word. You are committed and you are starting.
Get help. Just as we’re born helpless, we actually need a lot of help all the time. Whether it’s a friend, family member, assistant, accountability partner, child, therapist, doctor, healer or mentor, ask for and allow people to support you in your efforts as much as possible, and keep asking!
Get real. Or, there’s always this option: Stop talking about things you want that you’ll never do what it takes to get or allow someone to give you. You can decide later that you WILL do what it takes, but for now, just let it go. Continually talking about what you want and not taking action that feels good and directed is a great way to mount your anxiety, feel like a victim, and frustrate yourself and those around you.
Don’t complain if you’re not going to do anything about it. You’ll be amazed how much space it frees up…and what you’re actually able to accomplish.